Plan B is the new Plan A
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
