just come out here and I will go home with you...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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