Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
