I feel like abortions should bother me more
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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