Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
How many fucks given?
0.12846
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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