Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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