dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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