I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
