What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
