she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
foreskin is a definite game changer
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
