Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
