just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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