my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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