bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
