I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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