Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
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Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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