even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
