If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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