you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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