brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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