ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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