If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
this boner is exhausting
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
