I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My balls are so social today.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Randomize
