He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize