that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
