Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
