I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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