did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
