Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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