is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
