a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
