I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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