How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
