am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just sent this text using only my big toe
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
