Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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