Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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