theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
