Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize