Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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