just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
