I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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