we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
