i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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