hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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