taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
