TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
