Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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