I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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