i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
