Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
