I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
