if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
