Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Mom said you looked used
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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