I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
