Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.