are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet