i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser