I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.