I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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