Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
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We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
tell me about the fingering
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