She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
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HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
