We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
