lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
