Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
