Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
