Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
A+ Viking dick
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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