drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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