If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
