Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
