i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
