I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
