so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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