i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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